I never thought the day would come when I would not need my 4-5 cups of green tea. Girls and boys, it’s arrived. Yes I could make iced tea, but I’d still need to boil water to make the tea and then chill it, and let me tell you I ain’t doing nothing to generate more heat in here. Yes it’s the canicule and yes it’s so old to mention it. However it’s getting on my nerves, which is why I’m bringing you my pet peeves.
This. Word. Blessed.
About a hundred years ago people shared articles and clips and whatnot on social media with the following introductions: “Reading recommendation!” or if the article was particularly good, even with “A strong reading recommendation!” or “A must-read!“. Those were the bygone times when people had time to waste on the internet, idle over articles and videos and formulate full sentences.
Not anymore. Today’s content providers customise their
posts retweets with “This.” or “Word.” Seriously. You want to appear engaged and express your views? Then some effort, please!
“Contrary to about 99% of the other people who shared this article, I actually read it and totally agree with it, and it will change your life, so stop reading this and read it instead!”
“This is sheer brilliance/utter shite/the reason I wake up the mornings”
“The author is cheating on his wife! With me!”
”I lovelovelove the use of Oxford comma in this piece!”
Anything with a verb will be refreshing!
Then we need to discuss religion for a second. I am super-secular and am not interested in what people decide to worship. If you feel that enjoying a chia-pudding topped with symmetrically arranged blueberries and cashews on a hotel balcony has made you holy, by all means use the hashtag #blessed to share this information with the rest of the world (the Vatican surely will take note). Don’t be shy about expressing your consecration on Facebook – judging by the social media, many have experienced the Divine touch in an airport-lounge mid-prosecco.
Factory stitches left on garments
Look. Your new blazer/pencil skirt/winter coat has a slit in the back for a reason. The reason is this: it helps you walk and sit down. It is supposed to be there. Trust me, the slit is not a mistake that a factory-worker had to cover up the last minute by stitching a big ugly white X at the bottom of it to close it up. Take out the stitches – you’re not leaving the prize-tags hang out for everyone to see, either?
The stitches should be taken out at the till when you pay for your item, but I’ve come to realise that lots of shops have made it their mission to annoy me, thus often overlooking this bit. I also sometimes spot male colleagues who have left a tag on their jacket-sleeve announcing that their suit is Quality Italian Cashmere-Blend.
Related: Stickers left on shoe-soles.
Juice-drinkers at hotel breakfast buffets
I understand. Sometimes you’re just thirsty. Like parched. Still. You know the people who fill a glass at the juice-bar and then drink it on the spot and refill while the rest of the universe waits behind them? Not OK. Not even when you’re travelling with the President of Russia and need to test the juice for nerve poison first. Don’t.
Here. Got the worst off my (sweaty) chest. Will return with more positive vibes for the next post.